My husband James does odd
jobs. The latest job was the oddest of
all: he had taken employment from spike,
the forty lb. beagle.
Oh, James did not know
whom he would be working for at first.
He naively believed that he would be doing housework, light repair jobs,
etc. and believed he may need to walk a dog or two, but little did he realize
he would be heeding spike the dog’s commands.
James and I went over
to meet spike and his companion, Sally the Dalmatian, and they were just as
nice as could be in front of their humans.
I did notice that spike was rolling his eyes just a bit. Apparently, he was mildly disgusted at the
mere idea of having someone in the house while his mistress was away, but
decided he would soon put a stop to this nonsense. Maybe he figured the money spent on James
could be put to better uses, like buying him better snacks, or more frequent
treats. I did mention that he weighed
forty lbs., right.
The day came when poor
James had to report to work; Sally and spike met him at the door barking
loudly. James responded by talking to
them nicely and continued to enter the house.
He gave Sally a nice leathery treat, which she took and went to her
room. You could tell that she sort of
felt she was selling out, but a treat is a treat, so she decided to let it
go. Spike was more determined to put
James out, so James whipped out an especially nice doggy biscuit. Spike took it, but you have never seen a dog
so torn. Part of him wanted to attack
and dislodge this unwelcome guest, but the greed was more that he could
bear. He felt so guilty, that after
consuming his treat however, that he doubled up his efforts and began to snarl
and snap. James did not want to push his
luck, so Spike got another treat. Spike
realized that he was on to something.
James proceeded to clean spike’s home.
Spike proceeded to follow him about the place inspecting every detail of
work, flinging insults and criticism at every turn. When spike’s comments turned particularly
nasty, he accepted another, and yet another, treat given to placate him.
Finally, James had to
remove an old air conditioner from the basement. Now, spike had had just about enough. He already had to stand by while James had
plundered and pillaged about the whole house, but removing this possibly valuable
item was more than he was willing to stand for.
He lunged at James’s leg.
Fortunately, a box of dry cat food was handy and James scattered it
about the floor. Being a neat and tidy
dog, spike was compelled to call off the attack and clean up every piece of
food, giving James just enough time to drag the thing outside to safety. Spike hurled several rude comments through
the screen door expressing his extreme displeasure at this turn of events, and
threatened to fire James on the spot and perhaps even sue him. Sally had joined him by now, having finished
her chewy goody, and while she was not having too much to say, she snubbed him
heartedly by refusing to make eye contact no matter how much he tried to get on
her good side.
James
was sort of relieved that spike wanted him gone.
Spike is too hard to please and probably should just save his money for
better snacks and treats. After all, he
only weighs forty lbs.
